My husband and I just recently got married, 40 days ago to be exact. I still enjoy the feeling of being newlyweds and I am excited for what is laying ahead of us.
Though there are 6 slightly annoying comments and questions I notice people keep making when hearing I am newlywed. I am sure some of you may have experienced similar assumptions. Or maybe want to share other assumptions and questions you were bombarded with after getting married?
- You are too young to be married.
I am actually 27 which is about the average age to get married. Most importantly is there the right age? Some people find love right out of high school, others in their 40th.In my case I found it at 23, got engaged at 26 and married at 27. Every path of life is different and this is my unique path.
- Will you have a baby soon?
Nope, that is not planned. Just because we got married doesn’t equal we want to start a family right away. In our case we want to travel Europe, focus on our respective careers and enjoy spending time together as a couple. I am not saying I never want kids, just not now nor in the near future.
Really? No kids planned for this or next year?
No, really no kids planned.
- Did you already change your name, are you Mrs. C now?
No, I am not Mrs. C. I decided against taking my husband’s name and I am hyphenating instead. I don’t see any issue with not taking your husband’s name. If you decide to keep your maiden name, hyphenate or take his name that is your choice and there are many factors influencing this decision. By not taking his name it doesn’t mean that I am less committed to the marriage.
- Have you started looking for a house?
Counter question, what does the one have to do with the other ?
We just got married, and let’s be honest weddings are rather expensive.
Besides, in our case, we just relocated across continents and are not even sure where we want to life in 5 years from now. When we relocated to Germany we both took it as an adventure with no precious time-limit. Though we also agreed to reevaluate in 3-5 years and decide at that Point where we want to start our “Forever Home”.
- How does it feel being married?
The first time I was asked this question we weren’t even legally married for 24 hours. At that point I did not feel a difference, though saying that seems to disappoint People.
Yes, I am excited to have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I am thrilled he feels the same way about me, and we are looking forward to our future together.
But how different should I feel?
- Being reminded of the things that went wrong
They forgot to put your cake topper on the cake
Wasn’t it sad that your ring bearer fell walking down the aisle
That your flower girl broke her arm the day before your wedding
Your hairdresser had a car accident the morning of your wedding
Your mom was allergic to the flowers you had picked
The venue forgot to put out the bubbles you had as a toss after the ceremony
The venue didn’t provide the sparkling wine toast for everyone
What happened to that slide show you had prepared, we didn’t see it
Your bridesmaids weren’t ready for the entrance at the reception and so onYes, I remember my own wedding including all the little things that went wrong. AND honestly at my wedding a few less than perfect moments occurred.
Planning a majority of my wedding while living abroad and having my bridesmaids scattered around the world made planing a bit challenging.
And I am sure in a year (or maybe 2) I will laugh about all those small details that went wrong, though right now I would prefer people to focus on the bright side.
Overall I love to hear family, friends and coworkers congratulating me on my wedding. I certainly enjoy sharing some of my favorite pictures. I am excited to hear what people thought was unique and what they loved about our wedding (And luckily there were many things people enjoyed).
I appreciate every well-meant advise given, though the 6 above mentioned comments are just getting annoying.
Maybe you made the same experience or can relate to this 🙂