Since I got married several friends who either just got engaged, or who are planning their final wedding details, have asked me on how I wrote my vows and which advise I would give them. I am most certainly not an expert on this topic, as I only wrote my own vows once. But I can share what I have been told and have experienced myself:
- Take your time when writing them.
Don’t put it off until the month before your big day. Believe me you will have many other to-dos on oyur list which will be getting in the way. The earlier you start the easier it will be and the less pressure you will feel.
- Make it short, less than 500 words or 2 minutes.
Overall you want to keep your ceremony around 45 minutes, much longer and guests may get bored unless you have some awesome tradition that will keep all engaged. (Speaking of unique traditions,
we included a Lemon, Salt, Honey Ceremony in our wedding) As I felt that I had much more to say to my now husband, I wrote him a letter he got to open the morning of the wedding. We stayed in different locations the night prior to the wedding and didn’t see each other till our first look pictures. It’s also an option to be more personal (see Point 3).
- Take out any inside jokes
which only you and your husband would get.
Yes this is your celebration and it should be unique and represent you and your husband. But it feels awkward if only the two of you are laughing and also there are stories and feelings you may not want to share with 50-100 people.
- Give it structure (Maybe that’s the German in me)
But seriously, give it some structure to get the right flow.
Start with a moment or story you want to share. Be specific to make these your vows. (Maybe the first time you two met, how you felt when he proposed, your first vacation together, when you introduced him to your family).
Tell him what you appreciate about him
And end with what you vow.
Practice out loud.
- Have someone proof read them
Even if you want your vows to be a secret, which I totally get. I only shared mine with my sister-in-law and that only a week brefore the weeding. I asked her to read them and let me know if they were too personal, too long or too boring.
Also, if you don’t feel comfortable enough to share your vows with one person consider that you will share them in front of 50-100 People at your ceremony. So you may want to change something.
On a finishing note, this is a little extract of my personal vows, not all of it but a glimpse. We did first traditional vows and afterwards each of us shared personal vows.
From our 1st trip Up North to our adventures in Germany
I have loved every step of our journey.
Because of you
I have laughed a little harder,
cried a little less
and smiled a lot more.
You encourage me each day to dream bigger,
and – literally run faster!
I promise to encourage you,
laugh with you
and be your shoulder to lean on.
I vow to be true and faithful
and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you
in all adventures life has to offer.
Hope this gives you some ideas!